Honestly, I understand if you aren’t interested in the review of Squeeballs Party. All I ask is that you watch the video I’ve included, as I’m quite sure you’ll be surprised at the violence within. It’ll get a chuckle from you…or a look of shock! Either way, it’s a great way to start your day! I’ll catch you guys in a few, short hours. P.S. - Tomorrow, a Cabela’s related review! I told you that I’d have a review of Squeeballs Party for you, and damnit I meant it! I’m going to do my best to team-up with D3stiny_Sm4sher in order to get even more reviews on the site, and in a timely manner. My reviews aren’t going to have gimmicks or anything like that. Just straight and to the point. You don’t want to waste hours reading them, and I completely understand! So…let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we? __________________________ Squeeballs Party, another mini-game collection on the Wii. That’s just what we were all hoping for, right?! I was getting nervous when I saw that only nine of them were coming out this month, but thankfully Squeeballs Party pushed us into the double-digit realm. Now we can all rest a little easier knowing that the Wii will be able to hold onto its mini-game crown! Seriously though, to say that any Wii gamer would be excited for another mini-game title by this point would certainly be stretching it. With that said, I know that this game had a chance of being fantastic, just as any other title does. I wasn’t going into it ready to bash the title, but I wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit to get down with the Squeeballs. That all changed once I spent about 10 minutes with the game, and realized how absolutely brutal it was. By brutal, I mean quite violent! Before we get into the heart of the review, I’ve put together a video feature for you guys. This will showcase just how violent the game is. There’s no blood or guts, but there’s still a lot of over-the-top things going on here. I was reminded of Itchy and Scratchy, or Happy Tree Friends…if those cartoons didn’t have any gore. Direct link here Admit it, you were pretty surprised with what you just saw, right?! There was your typical old-school cartoon violence, and then some things that went a little further than you’d expect. I’m still horrified by that whole cooking situation! Now that you get the tone of the game, let’s get into the review…shall we? I want to say this right off the bat. Squeeballs Party actually does have some fun mini-games…ones that I can actually see myself playing for weeks to come. Unfortunately, these fun mini-games are far outweighed by ones that are absolutely boring, monotonous and waggle-filled. Also, make sure you prepare yourself for disappointment if you’ve picked this up and haven’t played. The front of the box proudly proclaims that there are 150+ mini-games in the title. Well, as far as I see things, that’s an outright lie. What the box should really say is that there are 11 mini-games included, with multiple variations on each. Even then, there’s definitely not 150 mini-games that are varied and compelling. I mean, 2 of the 11 mini-games are bowling-focused! The way this collection was handled and advertised made it feel like one of those 300-in-1 game controllers you see being sold at your local mall. There’s definitely 300 games on there, but they’re really just multiple variations on Super Mario Bros. and Contra. The standout titles in the collection are definitely Golf and Pumping. These two titles have variations that are quite fun to play, and get even more engaging when you throw in multiple players. Let’s see if I can’t explain why these are the most fun out of the group. Basically, both games put a unique spin on the Monkey Target idea from the Super Monkey Ball series. Golf requires you to wind up a robotic arm, and then launch your Squeeball out over the ocean. From there, you can put backspin on your Squeeball, and also make it skip off the water by pressing the B trigger. By doing this, you try and set yourself up for a target that has different point values. Some targets are further off than others, and the amount of robotic arm power you build in the beginning will dictate whether or not you can reach those far-off, but higher point-valued targets. Pumping works almost in the same way, except you’re flying through the air, floating through rings, and then hitting a target. You ‘pump’ up and down with the Wiimote, and then point to aim and fire your Squeeball. From there on out, you guide him through the air to a target far off in the distance. If you pumped him up enough, he’ll have enough air-power to reach the target and splat where you’ve aimed him. Pretty similar to Golf, but nonetheless fun. The rest of the games are either boring, or have been done better in other games. The two Bowling titles don’t offer anything above Wii Sports, other than throwing wacky lanes at you that have to be navigated. Long story short, you’re still just bowling. As you saw in the video above, the ‘Cooking’ mini-game is a bad clone of Cooking Mama, and I swear to you, all you have to do is shake the Wiimote up and down to win the entire game. I should do a video-in-video to prove to you that’s all you have to do. Paint By Squeeball, Stampede, and Feeding Frenzy claim to be 3 different games, but I don’t think they cut it. In all of them, you’re firing off a Squeeball at something. You are either feeding Squeeballs to an enemy, shooting them to stop enemies, or firing them at a giant canvas to paint it. It’s the same damn thing three times over, even if the goals are slightly different. None of them are engaging, and become quite frustrating in the later rounds. Speaking of frustrating, let’s talk about Shock and Squeeball Testing Belt. My dear lord, these games verge on being broken. Shock has you playing the old electrified wire carnival game that you’ve seen plenty of times over. Oddly enough, the goal in this one is to build up enough charge to fry your Squeeball, and if you touch the side of the wire you lose charge. This is all well and good, but when the game starts spraying water at you and putting ridiculous time limits on the goal, you find yourself losing time and time again. Even worse, when the wire bends, you don’t actually have to twist the Wiimote. You just draw a line with the wire hook and it will automatically bend for you. I can’t tell you how many times this messed with my head, and had me turning my hand in ways that I didn’t have to. Still, I’d rather play Shock a million times over before I did Squeeball Testing Belt. This one seems really simple, and it would be if the controls worked well. Basically, for each type of Squeeball you have to perform a different Wiimote motion. Lunge forward, slam down, punch up, slice left or right. When you only have to do 1 type of motion, it works okay. When you throw in 2 or more, all hell breaks loose. The damn game does not recognize what you are doing when things get hectic. Making things worse, the Squeeballs are on a conveyor belt, and you only have a short time to perform your motion before they move out of range. I was ready to punch through my TV after playing this one for 20 minutes…on just 1 level! Let’s not forget Canon, which has you batting Squeeballs with a tennis racket after they’ve been fired at you from a canon. You hit them, they land on a target and you get points. Get ready for a million variations on this one, all of them boring. Add in the lousy controls that have trouble determining forehand and backhand, and you have a recipe for another annoying party. What else is there to say about Squeeballs Party? The graphics are good, the music is shallow, and there are 2 really fun games. Why couldn’t the rest of the 148 variations on 9 games end up being anywhere as fun? I mean, even if the game only had a quarter of its variations being worth your time, I’d still consider that a success. From what I’ve done, I’d say there are about 10 or less games worth playing…in 2 different categories…with 5 variations. That’s not really cutting it when I’m looking at a supposed wall of 150 games to check out. It’s a shame, because this game could have been something special. The characters are actually quite adorable, even if their uber-violent motives are a bit jarring. The production value on teh cut-scenes and overall look of the game is quite high. You can tell that the people involved with the title were hoping to make a brand that could transcend gaming and go into something else. I still think the Squeeballs have appeal, and I’d like to see them end up in a better mini-game collection down the road. Just cut down on the variations and focus on what works. Just like we always say, it’s quality that counts…not quantity. Squeeballs Party gets a 5.1 out of 10
See more here:
GoNintendo ‘End of Day’ thoughts - Squeeballs Party review: an unexpectedly violent game!
